The Chief Storyteller

Check, Check, Re-Check Before You Send that Email

The adage, "You never get a second chance to make a first impression," is true every moment. It is especially relevant when you are sending out email.

While surprising in and of itself to come from such a professional organization, it's no surprise that I was greeted with this type of email solicitation. I thought rather than delete it, let's learn from it.

I found at least 8 items of interest (see below). Before reading my suggestions, think about what you would do differently...

From: Person1@vendorname.com 
Sent: Tuesday, June 30, 2009 1:35 PM
Subject: Pre Show List

Dear Meeting Planner, Please stop by Booth #### to register for our prize at ASAE while in Toronto!  Prize:  Nintendo Wii Bundle w/ Wii Fit includes Wii Remote Controller, DreamGear 5-in-1 Fitness Bundle, Wii Fit w/Balance Board, Wii Nunchuk Controller and a Nintendo Wii Console w/ Wii Sports Game.  Value $485.00   VendorName – Booth ####  See you there!

Person2
Vice President
VendorName
(###) ###-####
www.vendorname.com

Suggestions (in no particular order):
1. Personalize with a first name. At least try to make it look like it's not a form letter.
2. Use a compelling subject line
3. Separate into sentences or bullets
4. Omit the prize information. Everyone has prizes at conferences.
5. Share a compelling message as to why I should visit your booth. We all have limited time on the conference floor, so COMPEL me to visit your booth.
6. Don't send out an email from a different address than your own (Person 1 sent out the email under Person 2's name)
7. Sign the letter
8. Ensure that the email is being sent to the right person. My name is under the category of management in the database not meeting planner (The vendor has this information).

Make Your Requests Irresistible -- or Face the Consequences

I am on a bunch of groups in LinkedIn. Within the groups, members can post pretty much anything that they want. I receive the messages all at once in a digest format.

In one day, I received the following messages from different groups, with these subject lines:

- "I have posted a poll on my home page - would everyone with a free minute stop by and take it? Thanks!"
- "Leap of faith"
- "What are you talking about !?!"
- "Business & Management"

On a scale of 1 to 10, here are a few criteria that just skim the surface:
- Compelling: 1
- Engaging: 1
- What's in it for me? 1
- Curiosity: 1 to 3, depending on the item

If you are going to ask for things, a favor, an action, consider your audience's point of view. Stephen Covey's Habit #5 applies perfectly: Seek first to understand then to be understood."

Before pressing enter on your computer, ask yourself, would my audience respond favorably to this request? It's all about the headlines. Headlines, headlines, headlines. In this case, Subject Lines, Subject Lines, Subject Lines.

SciFi Channel Changing its Name--I Don't Understand Why

I am a HUGE fan of the Sci Fi Channel. I have faithfully watched several of its series like Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis. I visited the website yesterday and saw that it is officially changing its name in July to better represent its image and outreach.

Well...let's just say that after reading the press release (in its entirety below), I am confused.  Based purely on what I could find on the Internet after doing some research, it also does not make good business sense.

Here are a five comments that all of us can learn something from to help us be better business storytellers:

1. Grade Level is way too high: According to the Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level (learn more), the entire press release comes in at the 17th grade level. Some of the paragraphs are above the 21st grade level. Most main stream magazines write between the 6th and 8th grade levels

2. Made up words: According to Dictionary.com, Merriam-Webster online, and Cambridge Dictionaries Online, the words "ownable" and "trademarkable" are not in the dictionary

3. Why use a phonetically identical phrase? The name is changing from Sci Fi Channel to SyFy. This paragraph from the press release does not substantiate the name change.

By changing the name to Syfy, which remains phonetically identical, the new brand broadens perceptions and embraces a wider and more diverse range of imagination-based entertainment including fantasy, paranormal, reality, mystery, action and adventure, as well as science fiction. It also positions the brand for future growth by creating an ownable trademark that can travel easily with consumers across new media and non-linear digital platforms, new international channels and extend into new business ventures.

4. Tagline is inconsistent: The new tag line of "Imagine Greater" attempts to be an easily understood metaphor. "Greater" is not a word that is commonly associated with imagination so it is a bit abrupt to read and mentally process. What I did find interesting was that the phrase "unlimited imagination" was used twice. Also, the last paragraph, which is the elevator speech, uses the phrase "fuels the imagination." Either would work much better as a tag line with "fuels the imagination" as my preferred suggestion. Both are easy to process, simple in concept, and match nicely with the vision of the cable channel.

The challenge that SciFi is having here with its tag line is a challenge that I find worldwide. Organizations have buried treasure--great words and phrases that really capture the passion and spirit of the organization. The problem--the phrases stay buried or worse, not even shared. Don't force your clients (corporations), members (associations), or partners/agencies (government)to be business pirates--constantly in search of your business story, key messages, value proposition, etc.

5. Brand Repositioning Unnecessary: The press release includes the following sentence--"Syfy also creates an umbrella brand name that can extend into new adjacent businesses under the Syfy Ventures banner, such as Syfy Games, Syfy Films and Syfy Kids." Why can't SciFi Ventures, SciFi Films, SciFi Games, SciFi Kids, and so on be used? The current name lends itself nicely to brand extension.

*** Press Release

New York, NY - March 16, 2009 - Building upon sixteen years of water cooler programming and soaring ratings growth following its most-watched year ever, SCI FI Channel is evolving into Syfy on air and on-line beginning July 7th, it was announced today by Dave Howe, President, SCI FI.

By changing the name to Syfy, which remains phonetically identical, the new brand broadens perceptions and embraces a wider and more diverse range of imagination-based entertainment including fantasy, paranormal, reality, mystery, action and adventure, as well as science fiction. It also positions the brand for future growth by creating an ownable trademark that can travel easily with consumers across new media and non-linear digital platforms, new international channels and extend into new business ventures.

Imagine Greater will become the new brand message and tagline, inviting both consumers and advertisers into a new era of unlimited imagination, exceptional experiences and greater entertainment. Syfy more clearly captures the mainstream appeal of the world's biggest entertainment category, and reflects the network's ongoing strategy to create programming that's more accessible and relatable to new audiences. Syfy will continue to celebrate the traditional roots of the genre, while opening the brand aperture to accommodate a broader range of imagination-based entertainment.

"While continuing to embrace our legacy and our core audience, we needed to cultivate a distinct point of view with a name that we could own that invites more people in and reflects our broader range of programming," said Mr. Howe in making the announcement. "Syfy allows us to build on our 16 year heritage of success with a new brand built on the power that fuels our genre: the Imagination. Syfy ushers in a new era of unlimited imagination, exceptional experiences and greater entertainment that paves the way for us to truly become a global lifestyle brand."

Syfy -- unlike the generic entertainment category "sci-fi" - firmly establishes a uniquely ownable trademark that is portable across all non-linear digital platforms and beyond, from Hulu to iTunes. Syfy also creates an umbrella brand name that can extend into new adjacent businesses under the Syfy Ventures banner, such as Syfy Games, Syfy Films and Syfy Kids.

Additionally, as the Channel's footprint expands rapidly around the globe, aiming to reach more than 50 international channels by the end of next year, Syfy meets the need of a globally relevant, trademarkable brand that stands for something unique to the brand in each territory.

The new brand evolution will launch on air and on-line July 7th, in tandem with the premiere of the new scripted drama, Warehouse 13, and the return of breakout summer series Eureka. An aggressive trade marketing campaign will kick off this spring. scifi.com will assume the URL syfy.com at that time.

SCI FI Channel is a television network that fuels the imagination of viewers with original series and events, blockbuster movies and classic science fiction and fantasy programming, as well as a dynamic Web site (www.scifi.com) and magazine. Launched in 1992, and currently in 95 million homes, SCI FI Channel is a network of NBC Universal, one of the world's leading media and entertainment companies.